This one goes out to all the engaged lovers out there, because we’re talking about wedding planning. Whether you’re recently engaged (!!!) and have yet to dive into the process, or the very thought of tackling it fills you with anxiety, buckle up because I’ve got just the thing for you! As a Washington wedding and elopement photographer (and past bride), I have been lucky enough to accompany so many sweet couples on their wedding planning journey. The biggest thing I have taken away is that just because it can be a stressful experience, doesn’t mean it needs to be. No matter where you are on your journey, let me walk you through how to actually have fun wedding planning. So curl up on the couch, grab a fun beverage, and snuggle in as we dive into what can affectionally be dubbed “datefying the wedding planning process”. 

The wedding industry has us all convinced that wedding planning is a chore, rather than an experience to have alongside your person. It seems like the very second couples get engaged, they are flooded with “book your venue now”, “take out a loan to finance your wedding”, etc. It’s no wonder why couples feel instant overwhelm! But I am of the opinion that you have the power to control the narrative of planning your dream wedding.

Rather than getting hung up on the dollar signs and multitude of opinions, there’s no better way to start the wedding planning process than by setting your sights on the most important detail: your marriage. Don’t be too busy planning your wedding that you forget to plan for your marriage. By prioritizing your relationship each step of the way, you will be building an even more rock-solid foundation to begin your marriage with.

Before You Say “YES!” | Wedding Planning Advice

Maybe you’re perusing this blog because you’re anticipating an engagement. I can’t even imagine just how stoked you must be if that’s the case! You’re also in luck, because you can kick off wedding planning right alongside your partner before there’s even a ring on your finger. Whether you’re both “in” on the pending engagement or not, be intentional with this moment in your relationship. As the discussion about marriage comes up, ask your partner what they imagine for the proposal. Do they want the ring to be a complete surprise, or do they want to help design it? Does your partner also want an engagement ring?While you can absolutely still keep the proposal a surprise, it’s still a good idea to be on the same page. Here are just a couple ideas of how to make a date out of choosing a ring:

• Design your ring with the help of a jeweler. If your partner has a very specific vision, this could be a great way to bring it to life. Give your input during the process, or have something engraved in the band as a surprise. 
• Design your ring from start to finish with your partner. This is actually something that my husband and I did when were preparing for our engagement. It is still one of my favorite moments to reminisce on and I have a constant reminder each time I look down at my hand. Being fully involved in the design process added so much more meaning and was the perfect way to symbolize our life together. The unique center stone was chosen with intention and served as a reminder of the time we spent in Iceland together. The stone setting and textures throughout the band pull it together beautifully. Kevin finalized the design with our jeweler, and still surprised me during the proposal!
• Go try on rings at a local jewelry store. If your honey is can’t quite make up their mind, have them select a few options that they love. But the catch is: you make the ultimate decision! Your partner won’t know which ring you chose until you propose. 

How to Make Wedding Planning Fun | Washington Wedding Photographer

You’re ENGAGED!!! Heck. Yes. After you’ve spent time celebrating and just soaking up the excitement of being engaged (and popped some bubbly, of course), it’s time to start dreaming. Whether you two have discussed what you envision for your wedding day before, or this is the first time that you’re doing so, make a date out of it. Head to a brewery, go out for pizza, or cozy up in a coffee shop with a notebook or laptop in tow. You two are going to spend some time dreaming big, and thinking with intention. To start off, ask yourselves the following questions (and write down your answers). After you both have your answers written down, you’ll compare them.

Questions to Ask When Wedding Planning

1. When you close your eyes and picture us saying our vows, where are we standing? Think about locations/environment, but also think about the time of day, season, whether it’s inside or outside, etc.
2. Are there any people who you must have present? If so, who? This can be no one, or it could even be a long list!
3. Think about our wedding day from start to finish. How would you want to start the day? Would you want to get ready with any of your friends or family? What would you be wearing? How would you like to feel on our wedding day?
4. How do you want to spend time with me on our wedding day? Having breakfast together, getting ready together, private vows, private dinner, etc.
5. What things could you do without on our wedding day? Think about what your least favorite part of a wedding is or what doesn’t feel authentic to you.
6. Make a list of your TOP 5 Most Important Wedding Elements that you would want to include.
   • Example:
     • Partner A:
       • Loves the idea of eating good food
       • Wants to be outside
       • Wants their sister to officiate
       • Wants amazing pictures to remember the day
       • Anxious personality, so wants to be close to their partner for the day
     • Partner B:
       • Happiest in the outdoors
       • Loves to eat really good food
       • Wants to be able to hear the ocean
       • Doesn’t want to speak publicly in front of a bunch of people
       • Loves summer

Date Night Ideas for Engaged Couples | Washington Weddings

Once you’ve finished your individual lists, it’s time to compare notes. Do you have any similarities? Where do you have differences? Identify where you have overlap and where you differ. Talk about those points and note what stands out to you. These talking points are an excellent place to come together and get an idea of what your partner prioritizes or envisions.

After gathering your lists of “yays” and “nays”, start those Pinterest boards! If you’ve had a Pinterest board with wedding inspo from when you were 13, maybe start a new one to reflect the current chapter in your life 😉. This can be a collaborative board where you and your partner both pin ideas, or you can each create one. Creating a fresh board will give you both a visual look into what you envision for your wedding day. If you create separate boards, present the information to each other with a little presentation kinda night! Hook your laptop up to your TV, pull up Canva (or Pinterest), and tell your partner what you love about each image or how you want to take your own spin on things. 

Using Pinterest to Plan Your Dream Wedding

This is also a great opportunity to start combining each other’s tastes into certain wedding details. Maybe Partner A loves jewel tones, but Partner B leans more towards neutrals. You can then brainstorm how you could incorporate both preferences into one cohesive look. Maybe you’ll opt for neutral wedding party attire, with pops of jewel tones throughout florals, details, and decor. Utilizing a slideshow or Canva in this stage of wedding planning is also helpful for selecting your wedding location. Having your top 3 venues on a slide while you compare the costs, amenities, and overall vibes could help narrow things down and make the decision process easier. 

Even if your partner isn’t “into” Pinterest, or doesn’t have many opinions on color palettes or tablescapes, I bet they love drinking wine or snacking on popcorn. The wedding planning process isn’t meant to be a burden; keep reminding yourselves of exactly that. OH! And that you’re getting married!! But if a Pinterest night really isn’t your honey’s fave, I’ve put together a few other ideas to inspire you.

Creative Date Ideas for Engaged Couples

1. Book tastings with potential catering companies or restaurants. 
2. Go shopping together for wedding event outfits – rehearsal dinner, after-party, welcome dinner, etc.
3. Have a movie night where you stuff envelopes with invitations.
4. Make a date night out of creating your wedding registry. Pro tip: Go to at least one store in person and have fun scanning to your hearts’ content. (Do they even still do that?!)
5. Go bakery-hopping to sample sweets and desserts. 

Making the Most of Your Engagement Session

One of my favorite ways for couples to actually have fun wedding planning is by embracing the engagement session. All too often, engagement photos are viewed as just another thing to check off the never-ending to-do list. Not only are they are a way to preserve your love for one another in this beautiful moment in your life, but they provide a look into your relationship to your loved ones. In order to get the most out of your engagement photos, choose a location that means something to you and your partner. Whether that be the park where you walk your pup through every evening, or the brewery where you had your first date. 

Speaking of dates: let your photographer tag along for an activity. Maybe your favorite summer activity is going to explore the tide pools. Have you been known to absolutely DOMINATE in Mario Kart at the arcade. Does your attire lately include paint-splattered overalls as you renovate your home? Does a Sunday morning spent making pancakes and sipping French Pressed coffee sound more up your alley? Do you spend your evenings at the art studio throwing pottery? Or can you be found battling over a game of pickle ball? The possibilities for personable, creative engagement photos are endless. I have a big ole list of activities that you can view HERE if you’re searching for some more inspo. Your engagement photos should represent a little glimpse into your love story – no matter how goofy, quirky, or messy.

Seattle Wedding and Elopement Photographer | Wilder Photography

Now that you know how to actually have fun wedding planning, what are you waiting for?! As you embark on this exciting journey in your relationship, remember to leave room for not discussing wedding planning. Maybe Sunday mornings are off limits, but Friday nights are fair game for talking logistics. Your marriage is the main priority in wedding planning. As your wedding draws nearer, I highly recommend setting aside an evening or a couple hours to go out for dinner, cuddle, go on a bike ride, etc. to connect and just embrace the excitement. You deserve to have the most exciting, fulfilling, and joyful engagement season. 

Searching for engagement session inspiration or wedding planning tips? Stay tuned to the blog. And of course, be sure to keep up with me over on the ‘Gram (@sam_wilderphotography)! But until next time, dare to be different, my friend. And happy planning!